i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
