We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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