Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Boobs speak an international language.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
