he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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