is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
how does that bad decision feel?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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