Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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