I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
