whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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