Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
