You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
