apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
