I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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