i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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