wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
