just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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