I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
