I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
