So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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