after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
