I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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