Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
