Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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