happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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