I look better un-naked...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
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