i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
