Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
