She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
