when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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