I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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