I think I died a long time ago.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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