She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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