T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
