if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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