why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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