is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
