Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
