I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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