I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Your dad touched me again.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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