first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
