O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
