That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
