How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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