Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
