is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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