So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
