did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Randomize
