We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
