at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
