Im at strip club and am horny
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
