the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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