You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
