Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
