Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
