just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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