When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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