have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
